Dear Santa

December, 2012

Santa Claus (AKA, Kris Kringle, Papa Noel, and Father Christmas), Santa’s Grotto, near Reindeerland, North Pole, Somewhere in the Middle of the Arctic

Dear Santa Claus,

When Roger and I met, as the arctic crow flies, we really weren’t that far from you.    Perhaps you think it rude we didn’t stop by for a cup of iced coffee and introduce ourselves, but honestly, it was early September, and that has got to be a busy time for you.  Do you really want uninvited visitors dropping by?

I know you get loads of letters this time of the year, but it has been nearly 40 years since I’ve written with any requests, so I’m hopeful that your administrative elf-team push this letter to the top of your in-box, giving you time to consider it.   Before I present “the list”, I want you to know we’ve been really good this year and, with aplomb, weathered lots of changes from the move.  Since arriving at Crockern, we’ve rescued sheep and hens, put in some vegetable beds and worked hard to make improvements on an old house in need of some TLC.   Secondly, we appreciate and admire all that you and Mrs. Claus accomplish year in and out to help make children happy.  If you think Roger and I merit, maybe you and the elves might work your Christmas magic to assist with some of our requests here at Crockern:

  1. Help the roofers finish.  They’ve been with us since September and frankly speaking, enough already.
  2. To help us make a decision on the heating system so that our 2013/14 winter will be warmer and cozier than this year.  I’m certain you have insight when it comes to “best practice”.
  3. Protection for our chickens from foxes, badgers, and inexplicable ill health so that they can keep providing those yummy eggs.  I know you have a busy holiday schedule, but if you have the time, perhaps you’ll join us for breakfast?  Roger makes a lovely poached egg.
  4. To encourage those sheep to stay off our stonewalls and out of our yard.  Can’t you send that Mandy Patankin guy along to help fix the walls?
  5. To remain on friendly terms with Old Crockern, God of Dartmoor.  We think we’re doing okay on this front, but it wouldn’t hurt for you to put in a few extra good words.
  6. How about some dog biscuits to give to his Wisht Hounds?  I’ve noticed Sam loves our postman who always has treats to give.
  7. A paten for my slug-prevention-soup.  It works as well as cheep beer in keeping the slugs away, and costs far less!
  8. A rock pick made of carbide steel.
  9. Despite what you might hear from older siblings and practical joking friends, we don’t want any rats, gnomes, lumps of coal, or Morris Dancers thank you very much.
  10. But, a Royal visit would be nice.  Of course, you and Mrs. Clause are always welcome and I think we would all have a good time should Their Royal Highnesses The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall fit a visit here into their schedules.
  11. An answer to a burning question about flying reindeer:  Do they rut and does that really sound like my friend Joann’s new door bell?

If you do decide to stop by, could you please land your sleigh on the new patch of roof?  It is now sturdy and I am a little concerned about the barn roof might be unsafe since we haven’t yet tackled that project.  If you elect to come down the chimney, please take care as we have the wood burner now, and the flue is smaller.  No offense, but the front door might be easier.

You might recall from your visits to Winding Trail in the 1960’s that there will be a snack waiting for you and your team of reindeer.  I think Oreos and beer are an odd combination, but my Dad always told me to leave the beer rather than milk.   We will leave some carrots and apples out for you to provide to the reindeer.

Safe travels Santa.  It can be wet and windy here in Dartmoor, so don’t forget to wear your waterproofs as you wouldn’t want that handsome red suit of yours to get damaged from precipitation.

With love and warm wishes for a healthy and happy holiday season to you, Mrs. Claus, all the elves and reindeer,

Catherine, Crockern Farm, Pretty much in the Middle of Dartmoor, UK

p.s.  If you’re inclined, you can follow my blog by pressing the “follow” button.  I think it would be swell if you did!

Santa 1965

Here we are Santa in 1965!

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18 comments on “Dear Santa

  1. Anja Hemmerich says:

    Love, love, love it! And weren’t you the cutest little cherub ever!

  2. I hope you’ve written your letter to Santa, too. In looking at that photo, I’ve aged some, but Santa remains timeless.

  3. ann dawney says:

    I love your list! So practical, not even bubble-bath….. You sure were a cute kid, to adopt the vernacular, and good to see you using ‘swell’ – a great word, and always makes me think of ‘High Society’!!

  4. Pat Hilton-Johnson says:

    I feel your pain about the roofers, rats and walkers up your drive–been there….Maybe you should get Caroline Quenton to do a Restoration Home show about you!!! Happy Christmas! xx

  5. Dana Crowe says:

    OMG I love that picture. And I bet you Had quite a detailed list for Santa that day!

    Sent from my iPhone

  6. Paul Blaney says:

    What a Santa! They don’t make them like they used to. And what a lovely letter too; I’m sure it’ll be well received. Lots of love to you and roger and sam. We’re hitting the road for Kentucky on Sunday.

  7. Emily says:

    I have to say Catherine – you have hardly changed since that photo was taken!

    Here’s wishing you a very merry Christmas in your new home. Love from us all . Emily and the gang

  8. Paris Dunn says:

    I just HAVE to tell you that I am finally convinced that I need stronger reading glasses, for I first read #1, “Help the roosters finish…” I’m still LMAO!

    • You don’t have reading glasses yet? I’m impressed. I can’t see a thing without mine and have now defaulted to the “what do you recommend?” question at a restaurant because I can never read the menu! Oh well, here’s to our big birthday’s in the next year!

  9. Sheila Shepheard says:

    Awww what a cute photo. Did you know (on the subject of rutting deer) that you can now buy stag antlers as dog chews (Stag Bars TM). Pi used to love chewing clippings from horse hooves from the stables and I guess there’s some similarity there. You can no doubt get them fro free for Sam. Lucky hound. Pi will have one in her Christmas stocking! Happy Holidays!

    • Oh yes, Sam has one of those and likes to hide it and then make us try to find it. Odd spin on the game between humans and dog, but he is an unusual boy-dog. Happy Holidays to you and yours!

  10. Sartenada says:

    Santa lives and works in Finland. Here:

    Arctic Circle in winter.

    Happy blogging!

    • Thank you and how cool is it that Santa is officially in Finland. I thought he kept the workshop a little more obscure, avoiding national boundaries, but hey, Santa does what Santa wishes. Happy blogging to you, too.

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